He is a friend I knew for a very long time. We were close and I was with him since the time I could speak clearly.
Everyone around him progressed through life, yet he end up leading a sedentary passive life. While everyone he knew have a career, university educated, married with children, owned a car and living their life, he was stuck back to the condition ten years prior. No work, education, relationship, or any interest. Instead, he relied upon the fear of death and sadness of people he loved if he is gone to continue living. He is what commonly called, a hopeless adult. In his mind he wished to be dead in his sleep.
I try to understand and help him after I met him few years ago. No big change in his life, as if every time he progressed, something just holding or pushing him back to point zero. I always ask myself, What curse befell him? He tried hard the things we took for granted, yet he failed over and over.
He was into drugs with me few years back because he wants to be in the zone. Yeah, right! A year before there was a break up between him and his ‘ultimate love’ and he was with a new girl he just put up randomly. His idea on love was a thing of mystery for me because he was more deeply in love with a girl he never got into a proper courting ritual. I mean, this guy fell more in love with a girl which he got an affinity with, but never got the chance to at least say he was interested with her.
His story was worth mentioning because it was very hopeless and depressive, I got to get rid of it from my system. Imagine a guy who got all these unbearable stupidity, yet so wise and mature in very big complex things. Completely helpless, hopeless, totally.
We were smoking pot, speed, meth, popping pills, drinking codeine and morphine like liquor and many things. Those were the days, without pain and only adventure, but this guy was bitter. So grim all the time, he got this ultra-negative energy even a tropical beach can become a grave yard with his presence.
Nah, I would not start with a childhood. How about the fun part, the sex and drugs?
So we were going to be kicked out of university, and the best way to end it was fucking around. I knew this girl which was an ex-girlfriend of my friend, but we just knew each other way back. Eventually, she was living across the street to the house I always lounged most of the days in a week.
Every morning I tried to pick her up after my usual breakfast ritual, I am a morning person by the way. Many times I tried to have a conversation with her, but I have a tendency to think more than twice before acting. One day, I rode a bike and stopped next to her for a chat. She stands frozen all of a sudden, turning her face towards me and smile. Yeah, I responded the same way while my hand grasping the bike handle and said Hi. Then I just asked mundane everyday generic questions to her like, You go to class everyday at the same time? Anyway she responded nicely, so before she wants to continue her walk to school I asked for a date in the evening.
Morning turn to dusk, she came out of her house with t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops. My friend was using the bike, so we took a stroll along the straight road ahead with houses in between. Talking and smiling until we arrive at the nearest restaurant there. An area filled with student will always be full for dinner, but we were lucky because there was many restaurants with tables flooding from inside the shop house to the street.
We ate and chat again, finished and we walked towards the park not far. We sat on a bench continued with our chat looking at the night sky while ignoring the ugly view of uncut weeds, over grown trees and grass with rusted objects lying around. She smelled nice, and I was horny so I suddenly gave her a back massage. Then hugged her, she pushed me and then I knew she got a boyfriend. I wasn’t sad, she told me about her friend and gave me her Yahoo ID. I was like yeah, kept it in my mind. Back home, I saw my friend was playing the guitar in-front of the guys. I said Hi, he smiled and every looked at me and asked how was my date. I gave a grin and they ask me to join them for a jam. Yeah, we played music together without the drums.
Session ended, and my friend asked anything for him. I gave him the Yahoo ID, and he just run towards the PC adding her to his Yahoo Messenger List. He was a player alright, he had a record once of dating 9 girls in one day and fukking occasionally with girls. Sometimes he is strange, because he can be with one girl and be so loyal to her. Like few months before this I gave him the Yahoo ID, he was with this girl for almost a year. He gave everything to her and ended up frustrated. I guess he does look like an awfully frustrated guy, occasionally drinks and take drugs like no tomorrow.
…………………………………………………….. to be continued